I’m Just That Girl
Do we all remember that “Rise & Grind” phase where everyone was posting their early morning motivations and daily achievements and shaming anyone who was still in bed by 7am! That obsession with productivity became a trap of performative self-improvement (so guilty) because we, the shamers, were also the shamed.
When I feel like That Girl, it embodies self-assurance, success and growth - a reclamation of confidence. Unfortunately, in an era where personal growth has been packaged as a never ending to-do list (literally my life), the pressure to constantly show a perfect self can become counterproductive, especially in creative work. True creative flow isn’t found in rigid self-improvement routines but in authenticity - allowing ideas to unfold without the burden of proving our worth.
I took over 14 months off Instagram in order to understand the relationship with my own creative process. The work I was doing felt performative, did not resonate with my vision and was purely focused on proving my role as a Stylist, Designer, Creative, etc. As a result, I was extremely burnt out, executing ideas that weren’t inspiring and lacked any connection to the story I wanted to share - there was no passion in my work.
At the same time, my life was just a mess. There was literally no healthy way for me to channel any of that energy into art and, I didn't want to. A huge part of being That Girl is knowing when to gatekeep yourself. Not every moment needs to be advertised to an audience. Confidence and authenticity create the ideal conditions for creative freedom - I was lacking a little bit of both. I couldn’t ignore how external barriers and internal doubts limited my creative freedom and at times, overshadowed my confidence, so, I went offline.
This actually brings me to another reason I deactivated my social media accounts - the constant over-explaining! The need to define myself. I am thankful to have built such strong friendships in my life and meet people who embrace understanding the nuances of Dasia. I had space to express and explore all parts of me. In contrast, I was finding it difficult to exist online since it felt like you had to justify your every move. You are not yourself in a state of over-explaining, that’s not you! On a platform where everything is assumed to be performative, too many voices will have the audacity to tell you who you are. I’m not online to argue my existence or validate my identity. How can anyone fit years of a personality into an edited feed? At this point, if you get it, you get it - if you don’t, you’re just not That Girl. Sorry!
When someone truly embodies That Girl mentality, not as a curated identity but as their natural state, they don’t lead with the hesitation and self-doubt that often stalls creativity. Instead of obsessing over becoming the perfect version of themselves they lean into what already makes them unique, producing work that feels effortless and original. For a very long time, I allowed the criticism of people around me to leave many ideas unfinished and unrefined. When I shared or expressed an idea that was rejected, I dumped it to the very back of my mind (but I’m realizing those ideas are still there…)!
This is my goal for 2025: create to express, not to impress. I grew up pretty confident in myself but over the years, I’ve felt that light dim with fear. Sometimes, I look at old photos and think “Wow, I can’t believe I was so comfortable doing that”. I want to be her again. I missed when being me was never given a second thought - I just was. Social media often reduces identity to an aesthetic - clean-girl, mob wife, cottage core, y2k... labelling trends in real time is so icky to me! Real confidence isn’t even in the doing - it’s in the being. The most creative individuals are the ones who trust their instincts and express themselves from a place of personal truth rather than expectations. I am a result of experiences that are so niche to me, I can’t even create an inspo board.
I’ve always been measuring my growth by how much I could fix and improve myself, searching for the version that would feel ‘enough'. Since starting therapy, I’ve started asking myself “Who am I living for?”. There’s power in evolving and learning, but, there’s also power in standing still and trusting my vision before it’s fully formed. Self-worth isn’t something earned through discipline - it’s the foundation.
As I begin sharing more of myself and exploring who I am, and who I want to be, I hope you find inspiration in the journey & mistakes. Being That Girl is not just about striving to be better but realising that being is already enough. I am enough.
Further Reading: Jacqueline, page 99: Jawbreaker “MESSY”
